my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
