k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
