he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize