How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
