God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
