these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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