So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
