Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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