This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
