im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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