Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
