Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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