Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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