Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
