Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
