Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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