The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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