Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
