You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
