Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
