mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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