Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
