It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
