STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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