I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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