I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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