Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
being pregnant is like rehab
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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