there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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