hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
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