i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is wine microwaveable?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
