girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You did what with his pubic hair?
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