Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
