I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
