tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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