Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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