Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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