ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
