woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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