it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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