Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize