I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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