I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
