I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.