You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
