He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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