how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
