i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
