I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
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I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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