I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
