no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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