It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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