i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize