Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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