Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
