just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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