bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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