I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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